Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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