I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
