My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
