If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
