She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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