i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
