Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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