also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
is that a dick in a sweater?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
