idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
