soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
