At least make sure they are 18
Why
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
