yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Found your dick twin last night
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
