Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
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