I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
