Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
