dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
