I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
