You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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