Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
