By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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