we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
