Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
