Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
