i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
