I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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