I'm lost and stupid without you.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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