Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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