The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
do herpes really smell.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
