Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
