apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
