So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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