wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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