my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
