Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
