can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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