apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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