she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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