he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
