He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
