I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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