: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
