I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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