TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
