Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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