I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
