I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
