I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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