She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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