that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
