you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
