True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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