i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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